My boyfriend is Erick De Chavez, who I met at a London Pride (3rd July 2004). When I first saw him I thought “wow who is that”… he just had these tiny little denim shorts, cute smile, amazing abs and quirky orange hair that matched his orange eyes. We started hanging out together, 1 month later we were boyfriends. Click Here to see the first photo I ever took of him at London Pride.
Hobbies of mine include rugby (league & union), gym, gardening, wrestling and running with my dog. I also enjoy photography and video editing, so maintaining this web site also takes up a lot of my spare time.
My education after leaving Chewton Mendip Primary school, was at Wells Blue School, then to The Kings of Wessex School in Cheddar. After leaving high school, I took a 3 year National Diploma course in agricultural based business management at Cannington College, near Bridgwater. It was halfway through the course (1993) that I decided to invest a large proportion of my childhood savings into my first PC; this would help me with my studies and also help me learn more about computers. I remember my friends of that time laughing at me because I'd spent a lot of money on a computer system that I didn't know how to use. But unless I bought a computer and taught myself how to use it, I wouldn’t be where I am today.
After getting my National Diploma I went
on to work as a herdsman for a year at a farm in
My dad was very focused on his horses, he had 10 of them. Looking after them, the smallholding and his full time job working for the Ministry of Defence, he didn't have any quality time for me. My mum worked as a school teacher and along with all the cleaning and cooking she was very busy too. We lived in the deep countryside. In the teenage years of my life I can remember getting very depressed and lonely. I couldn't or didn't know how to socialize, had no hobbies, didn't appreciate music and was generally lost with no ambitions.
At 20 years old my computer knowledge was getting much better. I wasn’t really ever into playing games, I use to just spend all of my spare time learning about how it operates. The long hours and lack of civilization in farming eventually made me decide to give it up, move to Bristol and work in computer sales.
In March 1997 (when 20 years
old) I took out a mortgage and bought a 2 bedroom house near the center of
Due to the needs of both my boyfriend and myself we moved to London's Tower Bridge area in 2005. It was great fun living in the capital, the center of all the action. We had some great times there. After living the party lifestyle for 7 years and being with my boyfriend for almost 10 years, it was time to settle down. As with my previous house the property in London had shot up in value at an unbelievable rate again. In September 2012 we escaped to the countryside and started up a new holiday let business in Hastings Country Park nature reserve (on the south east coast of England). Living next to the sea was always a dream of mine and having the land to grow your own flowers and vegetables is great.
Ever since a child I’ve always had my own dog. At the moment we have a Chocolate Labrador called "Dickie Doo" (since April 2008) and a Pomeranian called "Missy Doo". They are always happy and full on energy, bringing a ray of sunshine to you day!
I suffer from a deformity of the chest wall in which there is an outward bowing of the sternum. One of the main reason that made me start going to the gym when I was 21 was to get bigger chest muscles as it hides the deformity. As a child I was very self conscious of it and never took my shirt off or walked around topless. I use to hate swimming lessons and taking group showers at school because of the abnormal look of my chest and the teasing I got from my classmates. Most people have a little concave bit in the center of their chest, while mine points outwards and is called a “pigeon chest” or Pectus Carinatum. Although I really enjoy going to the gym, it is also done to help hide my pigeon chest. The chest muscles either side of the lump take away the odd appearance. It doesn’t bother me anymore.
Here's some galleries from my childhood and youth years, click on them for a better look...
I suppose looking back through my life I've always known I was gay but it was hard to accept at first. When I was younger I would have done anything to be straight and "normal" because I was brought up in a society, as all people are, to think that you would automatically be heterosexual. Not being taught about gay issues or how to deal with public homophobia is difficult and leaves you very troubled and lonely. Living in the countryside didn't help with the issue either, as rural life is still very traditional in its own sort of way.
As I got older I realised that I fancied the boys instead of the girls, and couldn't understand why, and didn't know what to do. I'm not close to my parents, so didn't have anyone I felt comfortable to be able to talk to. I just bottled it up inside me and kept it to myself.
As a young child I had the best life any child could ever want and am very grateful to my parents, they were amazing. I was always closer to my mum, never that close to my dad, especially as I reached my teenage years. My dad and I had a poor relationship and communication. He was the one that disciplined me, sometime occasionally whipping me with a horse whip when I'd done something wrong. Ok it was only lightly, but it was enough to remember him as my enemy rather than a loving father. Its strange how small things like that stick in your mind. When I left home at 16 to go to college, my parents seemed glad to get rid of me. I will always remember the time I’d spent 4 hours cycling from my college to go home for the weekend and my mum told me I wasn't welcome home anymore. It was upsetting, at 16 yes your an adult, but that doesn't mean you don't need your parents support and love.
I wasn't a perfect child, but don't consider myself any worse than an average teenage boy. My sister could never do anything wrong in my dads eyes. She had her own horse and my dad would do anything for her. In a way it added to my loneliness, not having the same time spent with him. At around 14/15 years old I use to get very depressed. I often used to think about ways to commit suicide, it was stupid. It was only the love of my dog that stopped me. Looking back now I'm so glad that I didn't, life has so much more to offer. If there's one thing in the world that I could change about my life, it would be to have my parents back.
I have learnt that being gay is not an obstacle but something to be proud of, with many fantastic opportunities and advantages. If I was to be born again I’d want to be gay again for sure.
When at college, I did the done thing and slept with a girl for the first time. I remember getting an erection with the excitement of being touched, but couldn't get sexually aroused by the female body, nor could I go the full way without fantasizing about being with a man while I was with her. By the time I reached 18, I was getting really desperate to make contact with another gay guy and find out what it was like to hold a man in my arms. I wasn't interested in intercourse, just to sexually touch and play with another man. The internet back in those days wasn't available like it is today. The first contact I made was through a gay chat-&-date phone line. When I first rang it I was really nervous yet excited to actually hear the voice of another gay person. It wasn't long before a local man who was on the line invited me round to his home.
I drove round and remember being extremely tense and cautious. As I approached his house, he opened the door and invited me in. After making a cup of tea, we sat on the sofa together and he put on a porno film. I was really wide eyed by it, as I'd never seen a gay porn film before. After a while he reached across and put his hand on my leg. "Is that okay?" he asked, "Yeah", I replied, pretending I hadn't noticed. I had a huge heat surge through my body and my heart was beating furiously. The rest I'll leave to your imagination, but just remember if your reading this, being gay isn't about liking anal sex, its about loving being with someone of the same sex. The world is a diverse place and being gay is much less of issue here in the UK. After all you can't change your sexuality, just be who you are and enjoy your life to the full, you only live once!